How to kiss a troll.
I know you were thinking about it. Your relationship with hag had wasted itself and the magic had gone. You need more passion and drama. Or maybe you need your relationship to be tested. Or maybe you didn’t get your hag, and feel lonely? Or just bored. However, it is clear that you feel like it’s not life but stagnation. And then you see it. Huge, wide. Its skin is so… weird. But you want to touch it. The thing is passionate, maybe even too much. But you like it, right? Finally! But how to get closer to the troll if it tries either to eat you or kill every time? Of course, I’m the one who can give you the tips.
1. Prepare! You need to smell nice. It’s gonna be a date after all. Find moss and peat to roll in. Let it cover you fully.
2. Get a stepladder. Troll’s lips are far up, you will have to reach it. A stool can also work, if you're tall enough.
3. Get some fish or human flesh. Both are fine for a troll for distraction.
4. Now you’re ready. Go and find the troll of your desires. But don’t approach it so fast.
5. Place the food nearby and hide.
6. Wait while it finds the gift.
7. Once it’s distracted, approach it carefully making no noise.
8. Place the ladder as close as possible.
9. Tap its… shoulder? Whatever is close. It will make it turn around and notice you.
10. Kiss the troll.
*RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Here. Adrenaline! A fresh start with a fresh new relationship! Spicy and dramatic. Your hag will know about it, don’t worry. You can always tell her. Or maybe she was watching you all the time?
From this point on, we are not responsible for your safety.
